Learning Perfect Pitch Could Just Be A Pill Away
Perfect pitch is a unique skill that can be learned in your early years when your brain is like a sponge and your will is still strong and not beaten down by that heartless bitch Becky Molina who made out with Andrew Roth at that party you weren’t invited to because your hair smells like fritos and you curiously still wore a pair of overall-jean-shorts way past their allotted “cool time.” It’s the ability to pick out the note in which you are hitting as you scream at that harpy in the hallway for lying and being a two bit tart. If there were another one of you at that moment, you no doubt could have created the most harmonic cacophony of pain and dejection since Depeche Mode, which you may or may not have listened to on repeat as you wept yourself to sleep. School was fun.
According to scientists, there may be a way to stimulate your brain to become that spongy again by taking a pill that was originally developed for treating epilepsy. Harvard professor Takao Hensch believes that this pill allows your brain to be more receptive to learning things that are usually impossible to develop, such as language or pitch identification, once you reach a certain age. The tests he performed did show that the subjects taking the pill and learning ear training exercises did show significant improvement over an opposing group that took a placebo and went through the same exercises. Dr. Hensch believes that further experiments should be taken with caution though as he believes that there could be some inherent danger with reopening a state of plasticity in the brain that was lost when you were around 7; Parts of the brain that controls your identity or behavior through your upbringing could be at risk of being lost or scrambled.
No biggie, right? Who would even want a shot of learning how to let things go anyway? Fucking Becky.